hello, I’m back

Hello, I’m back. I’ve taken the last month or so off social media to get through a pretty dark time. I’m not saying I’m out of it… but just that I’ve started the climb. Thanks to everyone who checked on me or simply showed love and support. I try to remember every day that there are many people who support me, love me, and accept me – no matter how many others fill their time with spewing negativity about my life, my dancing and my choices. I’ve always wanted to be liked, and try my hardest to always bring the best version of myself when I’m around others. I think in general, that’s a good thing to do. I love to uplift and encourage others, and I wouldn’t be true to myself if I became a solemn grump who never spoke up. That being said, putting yourself out there constantly will open you up to lots of different opinions. I thought that I was strong enough to handle those, but I was not. I cracked last month. I’m not using the term “breakdown” lightly … because that’s exactly what it was. 

For so long I’ve given so much of myself to others. I give my time, my energy, my love and all my power to others to use it as they see fit. I’m trying to learn to take care of myself. It’s so much harder than I ever thought. Even as I write this I know there are people rolling their eyes and judging that statement and I’m [trying to be] OKAY with it. Not everyone will love everything you do. Not everyone will like you. Not everyone will appreciate your work. But at the end of the day, you have to love what you do. You have to love yourself and be confident in what you have to offer – whether others see it or not. It’s amazing how things, people and places change over the years. Its wild how some things that seemed so perfect become so wrong you want to crawl out of your skin just to get out. But change is inevitable in our lives. Some changes are good, some are bad. But with each change we learn something new about ourselves and others. 

The sky today was so powerful. Beautiful sunlight shining down from the distance with dark and threatening clouds right above my head. Its very representative of how I feel. During this last month or so of living in the real world and off social media – I’ve had some incredible opportunities and doors open up to me. I have great things on the horizon. But there are still dark clouds above and all I can do now is focus on the sunlight and be patient in this season of darkness. 

Thank you again to those who have been there for me. I am so humbled and blessed to have people who truly care about my journey and are not just entertained by it. If you’re going through a hard time please know I get it. Take your time. Put yourself first. Communicate whats going on to your loved ones and please please don’t ever give up on the best thing you have to offer this world: your true and authentic self. 


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